Screams and Dreams

 

As you read this, I want you to be asking yourself:

Is this a positive thing, or a negative thing?

For at least the past 15 years, I have had the same recurring theme come up in almost every nightmare I had.

Some people experience leg paralysis when they try to run away in dreams. Others experience a free-falling feeling. One time, I wore a sleep mask to bed, and had a creepy dream where my eyes were sewed shut.

But the most common theme in my nightmares is the inability to scream for help.

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The content and the plot line of the dream does not matter much. The thread that ties them altogether is that I am trying to scream for help. I am trying to speak up or speak out. I am trying desperately to protect myself.

But nothing comes out. I can't scream. I can't make any noise.

Of course, there's sleep science that can mostly explain this. My mental regurgitation that becomes my dreams is disconnected from my physical body. This may even be related to a common condition called sleep paralysis. This causes your body to remain temporarily paralyzed before fully waking from REM sleep.

You're not running in bed, so you're not running in your dreams. I'm not screaming my head off in bed, therefore I am not screaming in my dreams.

At least, until last night.
 

Last Night's Dream

Early in the morning, it couldn't have been later than 2:00am or so, I screamed out loud and woke myself out of my dream.

Like many dreams, the dream itself taken at face value is not horrific.

I was trying to find some privacy, away from friends, family, and hoards of other people mingling around my domain. I kept trying to find a small, dark hiding space. No one was trying to hurt me, but I wanted to get away.

I found my dark room, a broom closet of sorts. I tucked myself away under a table, but kept a clear view of the interior windows so I could see anyone coming.

Not more than a few moments later, someone in a giant, furry monster mascot costume came slowly walking up to the door. I could just barely make out the shape through the cloudy window. I knew, somehow, that there was a man in there.

Alone, hiding in the dark, I watched the door open and the man in the costume walk inside, looking directly at me.

I tried screaming in my dream with all my effort, knowing in some part of my brain that the effort would be useless.

...But I did it. I screamed. I woke up.

I woke Nik up, too. He put his arm around me, told me everything was alright, and I fell back asleep.

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Part of me is concerned that this will become a recurring thing. Now that I know how to scream in my dreams, to "break through", will my body and mind continue to make it happen?

Another part of me feels accomplished. Like I "broke through" in a positive way. That my mind and body finally figured out how to conspire together and get my dream state the help it needs.

Many dream interpreters claim that the inability to scream in a dream is related to a feeling of loneliness. A feeling of taking on a huge problem alone, not being able to ask for help.

So maybe, just maybe, I learned how to help myself, instead of needing someone else to come?

Or maybe I learned how to ask others for the help I need?

I'll repeat my question from earlier:

Is this a positive thing, or a negative thing?

In all honesty, my intuition tells me it is neither. I simply leveled up, which is neither good nor bad. I grew, in my subconscious state.

What do you think? Have you had any recurring dreams like this?

With love, 
Vanessa